In Which I Introduce My New Coworkers

HELLO PALS,

In my last blog post, you can read about the Sudden Departure of my most trusted assistant, Grace O’Malley the Alley Ex-Barn Cat. Her death was one of many Large Changes in my life all happening at once, and it might not have seemed like a good time to bring any other pals into it—but I’ve always seen grieving as a reminder of how important someone was in our lives, and how worthwhile it was to have known them. I’m lucky to have been able to give Grace a home for four years, and since I had the time and resources to help another animal, it felt right to take action as soon as I could.

Also, amid all the what-ifs and unanswered questions of Grace’s death, Gregory Alan Isakov’s “Second Chances” kept coming to mind: “My heart was all black, but I saw something shine / Thought that part was yours, but it might just be mine / I could share it with you if you gave me the time / I’m all bloody knuckles, longing for home / If it weren’t for second chances, we’d all be alone.” And who can argue with a song that gets stuck in your head?

(Side note: Gregory Alan Isakov also wrote what I’m convinced is The World’s Most Beautiful Song, The Stable Song ft. the Colorado Symphony).

So, I kept looking at the website for the shelter where we adopted My Beautiful Dog back in 2006, trying to figure out how the heck to choose an animal based on an online profile. I spent two and a half hours filling out the adoption application, and then my computer crashed. I filled it in again and sent it off in a leap of faith. I finally got an appointment to visit the shelter and wondered how the heck I would know if we were a good fit, and told Sally she’d better lend me some of her excellent cat-choosing skills.

She must have done it.

Pals, here is a passel of Second Chances.

The black-and-white cat is still currently going by his Shelter Name of Boots, although I’ve considered Many Other Names, including Diesel for the rumbling purr heard across the entire apartment. He has the body of a football player, the face of Batman, and is the former ambastard of a feral cat colony who got taken to the shelter because he kept recruiting more cats to join the ranks. He’s endlessly patient, endlessly chill, has the world’s most nonchalant FlopTM, and is in all ways an Absolute Saint. I love him.

The grey-and-white cat is tentatively named Dilara after a character from one of my many favorite shows, 50m2—also, it means “she who delights the heart”!!!!!! She was a hardworking single mom who raised four kittens to adoption age before finding love in the free-range cat room. She’s curious, playful, loves Grace’s old ball tower and tunnel, and enjoys pouncing on unsuspecting pals (mostly Boots, but occasionally me), especially during middle-of-the-night Hooligan Hours. She’s not at Grace’s supervisory level yet, but if her careful observations of the dishwasher, the medicine cabinet mirror, under the fridge, and whatever I’m eating is any indication, one day she might reach that rank.

Of course my new pals have joined the Barn to Business Casual staff, and receive their daily wages in the form of a delicious (?) Canned Food Snack. You can witness their talents for yourself in today’s photos:

Here we see Boots entering the frame to check things out and then getting a View From On High, and Dilara’s keen eye for set decoration. Note how the red of the cat toy perfectly matches the ink of the print I was supposed to put up Many Weeks Ago!!!

This is the face of a man who means BusinessTM, for which I have promoted him to Head of Security, while Dilara shows the insight of a truly visionary Creative Director. A catnip pillow toy for Business Casual? Groundbreaking! Here she is setting up her shot:

(If you’ve ever wondered about our High-Tech Camera Setup, it’s an ancient phone hairbanded to the camera mount of a borrowed tripod and set on a 10-second timer. We are #PROFESSIONALS.)

As for Yours Truly, in case I look Very ProfessionalTM, please be aware that today I took a giant bite of bagel right before the phone rang and had to spend the entire phone call with it stuffed into the side of my cheek like a chipmunk stocking up for the winter. “I don’t think I recognize your voice,” said the lady, which is probably because I’m new, but possibly because it was a repeat of many a Monday Ranch Breakfast, in which I JUST wanted to scarf down some Unlimited Bacon before having to go saddle horses and not have to make Yet Another Introduction. (#iykyk)

Anyway, nobody can replace Grace O’Malley, but I’d like to think that even though she hated other cats, she’d approve of our new staff members. It’s a lot of work to supervise a production like this, and I need all the help I can get.

Until next time, I remain

YOUR PAL.


OUTFIT DETAILS - ON ME:

Blazer - Banana Republic Long and Lean Fit Washable Wool-Blend Blazer, bought 1/2021 - similar (same?) still available (for way more than I paid) - wearing size 12 Tall with arms shortened - also worn here

Shirt - Target A New Day Ribbed T-Shirt, bought 8/2022 - still available, wearing size Large

Jeans - American Eagle Kick Boot jeans, bought several years ago - similar still available, wearing size 10 X-Long - also worn here

Boots - Boots - B.O.C., bought 2019 - also worn here

Belt - Bass, bought ca. 2008? - also worn here

Necklace - A Gift From My Parents :)

OUTFIT DETAILS - ON BOOTS AND DILARA:

Collar - Coastal Pet Products Safe Cat Adjustable Snag-Proof Breakaway Collar (with bell removed) - likely available At A Pet Store Near You

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In Which I Thank My Assistant